So many things should not be legal

Especially this. It's 2010!! How is bullfighting still a thing?? Where you at PETA? It boggles my mind. I have so many problems with this.

First of all, if this sort of activity is going to happen, it should at least be held exclusively at the Coliseum. Rome is to spectator murder-sports what St. Andrews is to golf. Animal-stabbing really shouldn't have left the circular confines of that sadistic arena. Second, it's way too simple to be a sport. I'm a girl, and I can fathom the object and rules of the game without even watching! A true sport should take a girl at least a season of diligent study and maybe even a high school level P.E. examination to understand it enough to enjoy or play. The really great sports require strategies from the players that are incapable of female contemplation. I am a fairly intelligent woman, in addition to being an avid sports fan with a good grasp on and experience in most sports, but I still sit in dumbfounded silence every time I witness the men in my family discuss in depth whatever sport is in season. I think the female brain is missing that lobe, just like the male brain is missing the thoughtful/multi-tasking lobe. Jim Rome might as well be speaking Norwegian on his podcasts. That is the way I like it! That's the way it's supposed to be! That is a world that makes sense. Third, the predominant thought in an athlete's head during a sporting event should never have to be, "Only one of us is going to make it out of here alive, hombre."

Bullfighting? Really? Dude wears tight pants and a jacket that someone went a little crazy with the bedazzler on, holds a piece of cloth in his hand that inspires murderous thoughts in a pre-enraged animal, enters big sand box with aforementioned animal, is armed with colorful swords (of course), attempts to kill bull by severing spinal cord via the lumpy thing on the bull's back. Are there fancy rules I don't know about? Probably a maximum IQ for participants. Must be equal less than or equal to the bull's, apparently. WHY IS THIS LEGAL?

A word to the bullfighter: 1. Sorry for the loss of your tongue but, and it needs to be said again and again - I told you so. 2. This does not make you manlier. I am sorry you were deceived by your proud country. Please try to step back with me and take an objective look at exactly what's going on here. Are you seeing what I see? Yeeeeeaaah I know, yikes. How about next time you just release an "angered and disoriented" bag of chicken breasts on a remote-controlled vacuum into a racquetball court with you and a sledge hammer? You can still feel macho by brutalizing an "animal" without the threat of being gored in the chin. Also, you have tenderized the meat for dinner. Win win win.

Ugh so many things to change in this world! Can I help illegalize this somehow? Gah I need more sway on global stage than I currently hold. Tomorrow, when I write my congressman my serious disappointments with the (lack of) financial regulation reform, I'll air my concerns about the bull-fighting epidemic. I vote no more please.

Holler back,
Kassie