Friday, July 27, 2012

A Word on Woody Allen and Me

I just finished the Woody Allen documentary that came out last year, and I'm only slightly ashamed to admit that I have a crush on him. On the youngish him. I feel shame. But I feel much more adulation and bizarre attraction. I challenge any woman to watch him in "Manhattan" or "Annie Hall" and not maybe resign to his charm. And to Diane Keaton's charms! They don't make them like they used to! Or maybe they do...*winkwink*...(me?). I need to watch his earlier stuff. "Bananas" is next on my list. This is all. I yield the rest of my time to a severely overdue update.

Hey guess what? Sorry that I haven't blogged in literally a year! I signed in again today for the first time and there's all this new stuff! I changed the format a bit. My big ole face is in the background. It's this self-promotion stuff; I'm trying to get the hang of it. I hate it. Was that the correct use of a semicolon?

So there were all these stats listed when I signed into my moth-eaten blog page, and turns out this thing has had over 2200 hits! WTF?? Who are you people? I was certain only a handful of family members looked at this thing and maybe the outlier roommate and/or stalker (just one before I die, please, God). Me and Woody are completely baffled. That being said, I am all ABOUT you creeps checking me out! Do it! I've made a mid-2012 goal of blogging regularly. I would say that I accomplish my goals greater than 50% of the time. Things are looking good!

This is the story of the past year of inter-web rogueness: Hot damn Ray LaMontagne is a sexy voodoo man! He's the ambience music this evening. He will, without fail, put me in the mood. For blogging. Note to self, fellas...(hahahaaaaa@nomalesreadblogs) Aaaaand we're back on topic - Here's the thing - I did long and thorough standup comedy research, and I have come to the conclusion that I am too well-adjusted a woman and/or I harbor too little self-hatred to be a successful stand up comedian. I don't have a stand up brain. I seem to have more of a comedy improv leaning. I have to say that I'm pretty relieved I won't have to stand in front of 25-75 unfamiliars in sundry stages of inebriation who have come either to mock me or to ignore me and concentrate on getting laid. I'd rather just spontaneously make my roommates giggle in our living room. Other than research, I quit my job at a leading technology-based, fruit-promoting juggernaut, got off the Facebook, got sick, got poor, got milk, got poorer, and then got hilarious & adorable children to watch part-time for entertainment, enrichment, and frankly financial purposes (I don't own them - they are rented out to me by their legal guardians, usually their parents, on a weekly basis with the tacit agreement that I will do them no harm...basically I'm a pediatrician.). It's been great! But it's also been creatively not entirely fulfilling, so here is what is happening now - Ostensibly, it's time for me to "start my career". I know. I, too, am rolling my eyes.

I'm getting back on Facebook! It's gonna be more of a professional lady page (not no stop it), but really that just means I won't have a wall, in case a casting director or whoever decides someday to browse the FB page. Casting directors are a thing, right? Walls should really be called Public Restroom Surfaces. PRSs. I want to avoid any "for a good time call..."-type situations. AND I'll be joining Twitter soon blargh which makes me throw up in my mouth a little, but apparently it's a necessity. These are all of my internet things. Tell all your friends!!

I'm gonna be doing a music thing! I went to an Ok Go concert last week and it made my whole body ache which can only mean that I, too, must Ok Go. I wrangled a friend into reteaching me guitar skillz and we all know I have the voice of ten thousand angels and the lyrical stylings of one Bobert Dylan, so we shall move forward from there. I also have a drum player who is fantastic looking AND hilarious! Just what every band needs!! We have no drum set or rehearsal space - baby steps. It's all a process. Madison Square Garden concert dates TBD. Stay tuned.

I'm gonna be doing act-y stuff! I've been procrastinating starting the whole audition/agent-search/resume-bedazzle game because it has seemed overwhelming. I'm in a fetal position, naked, rocking, as I type this right now. But, meh, it's gotta get done so I am initiating. It's probably about time that I become comfortable admitting to myself that I am an actor/singer/performer. Ugh I'm a slashie. Acknowledge and accept, Cardon. There have been suggestions of podcasting. Well, we've come up with a podcast name. It would be called The PodKass. Roommate Abby is the pun queen.

More to come!! Thanks for looking here! Lookuphere lookuphere!


Kassie

p.s. I learned how to do this!