I just ate one of those strawberry hard candies and it was good, but here's the thing - it was after I brushed my teef. You heard me! It's my way of sticking it to the Man. I found the candy on the kitchen table. Not sure where it came from. I hope it wasn't poisoned. Crap.
Uh so yes it is a New Year and I honestly feel like one million bucks. Probably even a gazillion. But here's how I feel about New Year's Resolutions: Meh. Really? Once a year we're encouraged to improve our lives? (That's a lot of pressure. Why not a little all the time?) I'm not totally into it, but I'm all about moving on and moving up. Something strange has happened to me this year. Instead of me making a New Year's resolution, the New Year actually resolved me. I feel like someone sat down and completed the disarrayed jigsaw puzzle that was Kassie while I stepped out of introspection for the holidays. Also, I seem to have misplaced a lot of my fear. I'm not sure where I had it last. I must have left them in my other year. Regardless, I'm feeling rather at a loss for anxiety and I'm loving it. Fear is for suckers! Fear of change. Fear of spiders. Fear of yourself. Nick Nolte. Well...warranted.
Does anyone remember what they used to say they wanted to be when they grew up? I don't remember ever planning on anything specific. I think I was just hoping to make it past eleven, but I'm sure if I had thought about it, it wouldn't have been International AOG Logistics (not that I am not very grateful for my current job W00T ECONOMY!). So I'm asking myself now. And I suggest you do the same. If you can change something in your life to make it more ideal, do it! Especially if the only thing really holding you up is fear. Break up with the deadweight. Ask dreamgirl out. Apply for that program. Wear those shoes with that shirt - it looks stupid, but just own it. Don't give a damn. Do eet.
Here is what's funny about me: I sing. And I write. I think maybe three of you know this. Actually perhaps a couple more due to my cheap-arse Christmas presents to you all this year (I recorded myself in my bathroom, and it was straight from the heart, my loves). Anywho, I'm thinking this year I'm gonna work on getting a record deal. This will be a goal. Now, you're laughing or at least worrying about my sanity (aaw thanks!) and questioning whether or not you actually ever really knew me (or whether or not you actually really know anyone and who are you, anyway?). Either way, then fantastic! Isn't that the best?! When someone you know plans something either really awesome or really ridiculous?! It makes life more interesting for one and all.
I'm going to sing this year. What are you gonna do? I hope it's awesome. And if it embarrasses the hell out of your family, then even better.
I promise I won't quit my day job. Yet. :) Long live the marine biologists and the ballerinas and the astronauts inside each of us.
Holla Back.
4 comments:
this is the most inspiring blog you've ever written. i love you! 090909
Now you've really got me thinking. I must to something fantastic this year. I'll think about it and I'll let you know what I come up with...(It probably will not include singing but I'm glad yours does!)
away black clouds of fear...away with you!
I am going to paint this year, Kassie Sue Lou. Yes, you heard it first (well, maybe third but that's okay). I just know there's a little sparkle of an artist inside of me and I've always been afraid...what if someone doesn't like it...or worse yet, tells me that they don't like it. Now I'm thinking oh, well!
Our life on earth is too short...so let's go for it!
Love you, girlie-swirlie :)
Hmm rid myself of fear. Here's one for ya...I fear I don't measure up to the mom I always thought I would be. How to fix this? Keep having more and more kids until I get it right, booyah! This year though...since I won't be having another kid, (or will i?), I think I'll venture into photography, painting my own art, and interior decorating. I realized I have every color wood picture frame and four different color pieces of furniture in my living room alone. Giving some credit to the fact we are students, living on a budget, I am going to make my house more like a HOME! Full of love baby, but not more babies yet...love ya kass. I'll be your public relation go-between lady. I'll get your voice heard.
Post a Comment