Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Pennsylvania: The Anus of America


I hate Pennsylvania. It tried to ruin my life at least twice in the past four days. So far. I know it's not gonna stop at construction and tricky road signs. It's gonna go for the jugular next time. I'm on to you PA! Stay away from me.

I finished my raw marathon. It was an interesting experience. This gal to the right here probably tried to run a marathon whilst being raw. She died two hours later. Just kidding. Actually, she could have. I have no idea. Wouldn't that be awful?! Not funny, Cardon.

My conclusion is that going raw was a good decision that gave the body a nice little boost and cleansing, but that is not necessary to maintain good health and to avoid serious problems. Cancer comes from smoking and the cruel inexplicable draft of the underworld. Adult onset diabetes and heart disease usually come from inactivity, eating mostly sugar and lard pretending to be food, and stupidity. But our bodies are pretty good at making the most of what we give it. Balance is where it's at (I've got two turntables and a microphone...). I'm definitely keeping some of the habits I've formed. I tell you what, though, my first non-raw meal was orgasmic. I wanted to rub it all over my body. I chose to eat it instead.

I got to visit my family in Michigan this weekend. Turns out every single one of them are superhuman. And they are all WAY nice to me, the sub par human. I'm barely potty trained. I spent most of the weekend with my nephew Christopher. He's six years old. I can almost keep up with him. He's a Lego savant. We created many important modes of transportation for robots and Indiana Jones. Now they can save the world. I also got to visit with my good friend Khalid up in EL. He is a good time. I recommend him. We probably should have gotten married when we were five. Unfortunately, five-year-old Kassie didn't spend enough time making life goals. Too much time making things out of mud in the garden. (This may explain the above discrepancy between myself and the rest of my family). Anyways, we visited this incredible music store "Elderly's" and I got to touch a Fender bass guitar that was worth more than my life. If I am ever worthy of such an instrument, this is where I will return to purchase it. And the dream lives on.

I made sure my family was prepared for me being unmarried and most likely unimpressive for the rest of my life. They, surprisingly, are as fine with it as I am. Good to know! Very comforting indeed. And the pressure is dissolved. More to come laterz...

Holla back!
Kassie

2 comments:

annie said...

So no more RAW?? WHAT?!?! I highly suggest Vegan then... it's the next best thing for your body. I've been doing it for over a month now and I kinda like it. :o) There's a LOT of information out there on it too so research it for yourself and then read the China Study. :o) ENJOY!

Anonymous said...

I don't think my Pennsylvanian husband will be very pleased if he hears about this, dear girl. So I shall keep this blog a secret to avoid a fight over you, okay? Much love to you, my friend.