My bladder has commandeered control over my body and is currently in charge. My brain isn't happy about it, but is not powerful enough to coup. My heart finds it amusing. She's not fighting to regain control. So I guess this is how it's gonna be for a while.
I haven't noticed any unpleasant side effects yet except that it seems that I am in a constant state of tinkling. I. P. Freely. I wasn't expecting this. Of course, most of what I eat now is just water in different packages. Sometimes it's green, stringy water. Sometimes it's orange and tangy water. Water going in and out, in and out. How painful are catheters?
Pleasant surprises:
! I haven't been unusually hungry or tired. Kassie-the-people-eater remains dormant. I don't know how to react to this discovery. Not only that, but I don't crave anything either. What's happening to me?!?!?! Is it possible that Arby's roast beef is infused with addictive chemicals? Maybe they just slaughter the really attractive, popular dude cows that all the lady cows want to make babies with. I, too, used to lust after that beef. No more? Wha? What am I to do!??!
@ My energy level remains fairly consistent all the day long. I have forgotten what this feels like. I'm used to sugar highs and food comas. To be honest, it kinda makes me feel boring. I can be a good time when I've had one too many fried Mars bars (which is one). But only for about an hour. Then I'm asleep curled up in a ball on your couch.
# I will never peel another orange in this life. I've always hated it anyway. As yummy as an orange can be, there's too much at risk on the quest for the fleshy goodness. You get all sticky and acid squirts into your eyeballs and orange gets under your nails and then you suspect the orange has a personal vendetta against you and then you feel crazy for projecting human emotions onto a small, helpless, mute piece of fruit. So you're left feeling a mixture of aggravation, paranoia and guilt. What a horrible experience. On the other hand, juicing oranges is wonderfully therapeutic and deeeelicious. I'm all about the juice. Juicy juice juice. Down into my belly.
K, that's enough for today. The end.
Holla back!
3 comments:
the journey continues in my personal/spiritual quest to regain balance in all things, of which you have seriously disturbed... if not completely destroyed! A few things which I feel worthy to note in this addition (that is embarrassing but I am choosing to leave it) ahem, "edition" of Yang's Personal Quest Notes: Section 1. What colony can possibly grow on a retainer that has not been used in three and a half years?, Obviously wasn't a question I had in mind when, upon seeing that my teeth had decided to go all Picasso on me and move back to there monster rabbit like position (which in return brought back SO many suppressed childhood memories...), where was I? Oh yeah, so I thought to myself its time to bring out and dust off the ol' retainer... unfortunately, I thought a little spring cleaning rinse and a dab of toothpaste would do the trick of ridding this frat house which must have housed billions of germs!... where was the rubbing alcohol when you need it?! Anywho, I throw in the bad boy and within 24 hours I have the worst sore throat I have ever had in my life! It feels as though I have had an Olympic woman's fastpitch amazon woman throw a grapefruit at my neck... liken that to the tenderness of what the entire left side of my neck feels like and bam, that is what I have been battling with as of late. The sickness has decreased my appetite but I am holding strong and refusing to eat anything raw. Today I was feeling better and thought what the heck, I'll go to the local greese hut and order a number 5 with x-tra fries. BAD IDEA, don't get me wrong, I LOVE GREASE, but the timing was all wrong and that was the only thing, besides macadamia nut cookies, that I had eaten in two days. Needless to say I have been in the bathroom for most of the day. So to some odd extent we are experiencing some of the same things. I thought this might happen during my quest to regain balance in that which you are trying to disrupt.
Dear Yin, I will keep you posted on further developments. Once again, good luck. Know that I love you and that you complete me. Hasta later.
I don't know if you ever saw that ridiculous cardboard cutout of my head in the science building at BYU with the little bubble that said, "Oranges are God's greatest creation besides men." I almost threw a brick through the glass case when I read what they claimed I said.(ok not really) What I actually told them was I thought oranges were so fascinating how they are simply thousands of pockets of juice. Seriously, amazing. But everything amazing has a drawback-the peal. Rrrrr. So I don't eat oranges much even though I love them and find them fascinating.
Oops, I used the wrong spelling for peel. hehe
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