Sometimes a girl's gotta, you know, completely change the direction certain aspects of her life are headed. I tend to do this at least fortnightly, but I've gotten out of the habit as of late. I have become existentially out of shape, if you will (will you?). So what am I going to do about it?
I've decided to go raw. In a couple of different ways. Firstly, I am quite literally going to stop eating foods that are not raw. I have my reasons, they range from wanting to draw closer to God via purification of mi templo yo, to deciding that eating whatever you want/whenever you want is for wussies. Regardless, this is gonna be hilarious and painful. I'm probably going to lose 79% of my friend pool and, according to a raw food website I read yesterday, at the beginning of this process I may experience diarrhea, pimples, rashes (?), dizziness, headaches, and random and inexplicable mucous discharge. HOT. I secretly hope to discover a new side effect. Like hearing other people's thoughts.
My second rawness choice is this blog itself. It terrifies me. I tend to think that I am insane. I literally would rather burn all the journals I've ever written from my deathbed than let anyone I've ever encountered ever read them. Nobody needs to see that stuff. I'd rather you keep your naive caricatures of who you all think I am floating in your minds for eternity. But, alas, due to my weakness for dares (especially ones of the double-dog variety), and also with the encouragement of not a few people confessing to me that they would buy 20 of my books if I ever wrote one (I tend to think that you are insane, too) I have created this blog in order to overcome my fear of your eventual fear of the real, raw Kassie Cardon.
So welcome to the madness! I have tasted it, and it is quite tangy, juicy, and untampered with.
I promise each blog with be at least this long, so as likely as not Roxanne is the only person who will actually read any of this. Which is comforting. Hey, Roxanne! Jens Lekman was on "This American Life" today!! NPR is cutting edge! Jens is incredible!
9 comments:
YAAYY!! Keep up the good work. Can't wait for the entry about your impending bowel disturbances! xx
You go, Girl! I haven't yet drummed up the courage to put the real me out there for all to meet, but after reading an interesting book by a cardiokogust, I have been preety much existing on rabbit food of late. I actually went through 2 large bags of salad grrens along with donations by patients of various garden fresh veggies and find I actually like eating this way. Happy to report no serious GI complaints as yet.
Unlike many of your so-called "friends" I, dearie, on the other hand probably have a good idea of the real you and am very excited to once again have insight into your very creative and yes crazy brain. But that is why I love you so I look forward to your entries.....
Oooh, I too am excited. I think you are right about eating what you want, when you want. It's very weak. I wish I wasn't weak. Can't wait to see how going raw will treat you!
Hey-I'm a big This American Life fan too. Love that Ira.
Katherine- I am not a blogger, hardly can navigate your sight. I am probably out of touch with who you are or pretend to be, but i think you are perfect just as you are. Raw or not. Love ya- Kristen aka Boring older sister.
\
Dearest Cardon - I believe that the universe starves for balance in all things, that is why I (upon reading your blog) will eat nothing raw. I believe that this too may have an effect on my body, which just may be as radical as some of the same side effects you listed. I am honored to be your Yin. Keep it up and good luck my Yang. -hv
Girl, I'm with your boring older sister - I think you are perfect just as you are. Which means that you wouldn't be you if you didn't do stuff like this. Bonne chance from your boring oldest aunt.
Dude,
There is this really cool raw-cafe in East Lansing, MI called Madelena's Tea house. I am sure you have heard of it.
They even have raw deserts!
Every time I walk in there I come across pretentious uber-hippies. You should also seek out hypochondriacs and make them paranoid about cooked foods.
So I must say....You have a gift for writing...so make that 21 copies sold. Although I have a personal belief that you would sell far more than that. I look forward to the next installment of "Kassie in the Raw"
Oh and did I mention that I love your guts!!! xx
Post a Comment